Fightin' Texas Chili: The Definitive Chili Con Carne Recipe

Howdy y'all. The following is a recipe for a Texan chili that I've been trying to perfect over the course of three long years. I finally discovered that the key to a great chili is.... a fuck load of beer. You will want to leave it to simmer for at least two hours (longer is better!), so I'd save this one for the weekend if you're working the hellish 9-5 grind and freeze the left-overs for the week ahead.

Go Get:

1 Large onion or 2 small ones.

2 Cloves of Garlic

1 Can of Kidney beans

1 Can of chopped/ diced tomato

1 Stock cube

500g/17oz Ground/minced beef or pork.

Chili Powder

Chili flakes or fresh chili peppers.

Cumin

Cinnamon powder

1 Can of Beer. I used Lonestar, 'cause.

Sour Cream

Worcestershire Sauce

The Action:

1. Chop up the onion and garlic into small cubes (click here to learn how to chop things) Fry the onions in a little oil and butter on a high heat. I use bran oil or rapeseed oil, as it burns at a higher temperature than olive oil.

2. Once the onions have softened, throw in the garlic and fry for a minute or two, stirring regularly. Add a splash of Worcestershire sauce.

3. Clear the vegetables to the side of the pan and brown the meat in the center, breaking up the chunks with a spatula.

4. Add 2 tbsp of Chili powder and 1 tbsp of cumin and fry until the spices release their aroma. Add half a tsp of dried chili power or cayenne pepper if you prefer it spicy, or you're spiking a certain someone's food *cough* Julian Wharton *cough*.

5. Pour in the can of beer and wait till the mixture boils. I used Lonestar, which is a light, largely flavourless lager for Texan pride's sake. You can experiment with different types. A heavy dark beer such as Shiner Bohemian Black or a Bombardier would taste awesome.

Pictured: Deliciousness

6. Put in your can of chopped tomatoes, the stock cube a dash of cinnamon and a thumbnail sized chunk of chocolate or sugar. Set the hob to a low temperature, cover and celebrate Texas style by molotov cocktailing a planned parenthood center!

7. Check every so often that your chili isn't drying out (add water if it is), and add your kidney beans 20 minutes before turning the stove off. The chili should have reached a thick, soupy consistency. Add some cornstarch if it's too runny. Leave to cool for 10 minutes to let the flavor soak into the meat.

The finished product.

8. Season well (keep taste testing as it will need more salt than you think) and serve with rice and a dollop of sour cream on top.

TIP- Boil your rice with a tbsp of salt, as unseasoned rice tends to taste extremely bland.

And that about does it. One batch of this stuff will end up producing 4-5 servings, so freeze your leftovers for later. Buying the spices will be expensive at first, but will last months. Thus the total cost per serving is around $1.75, depending on what beer you use.

Stay hungry, friends.

Screw Dominoes: Presenting a DYI Mushroom, Mozzarella and Pesto Thin Crust Pizza that Costs Under Two Bucks

This recipe is a perfect example on how you can cook better, cheaper and more healthy than fast food chains. And this for my American readers, is a step towards not being so fucking fat. This meal takes under 30 minutes from cutting board to mouth, which is around the same time as a delivery.

Go get:

Fleishmann's Pizza Crust Yeast.

Flour (If you don't have any already).

Sugar.

Butter/vegetable spread.

Olive Oil.

A block of Mozzarella.

6 or 7 mushrooms (We used the darker colour variety for presentation's sake).

A bag of spinach.

A jar of Pesto (We used the stuff in a sachet which worked just as well, and was really cheap).

3-4 Cloves of Garlic.

The Action:

1. Follow the directions on the back of the pizza crust packet; combine one cup of flour with 3/4ths of a cup of hot water with a tsp of sugar , 3/4ths of a tsp of salt and the yeast itself and mix. The Consistency of the dough should be slightly sticky to the touch- keep adding flour until the dough sticks to your fingers and is elastic.

2. Pour flour onto your counter top and spread it out. Also cover your hands in flour. Start molesting the hell out of that dough by pulling it and smushing it together again.

3. Get out your rolling pin (What? You don't have one? They cost like $3 from your local supermarket) Roll out the dough until it's even and larger than your baking tray. Keep dusting the top of the dough to stop it sticking to your rolling pin.

4. Smear butter on the baking tray using a paper towel. Don't use to much butter, but just enough that you get an even translucent coating. place your dough on the tray, and roll the edges as if you were rolling a sleeping bag. These will form the crust. Note: It doesn't matter if your baking tray is square. Pizzas in Italy are square for some reason. Square pizzas are still delicious.

5. Cover your dough base with pesto (don't get any on your crusts). Roughly chop the garlic and spread it evenly. Cover with grated mozzarella (we used an entire pre-shredded pack of the stuff)

6. Rip up the mushrooms by hand (sliced 'shrooms look a tad synthetic). Add to the pizza. Take a handful of spinach and do the same. For extra deliciousness, drizzle with pesto. If using the jar stuff, mix with olive oil to make it liquidy). Here's me drizzilin':

7. Season with salt and pepper and stick it in a pre-heated oven at 450 for 15 mins. This is what it should look like before baking, and after.

And guess what? The total cost per serving (it serves two) is $1.82. This obviously isn't the total cost of all the ingredients, but only the ingredients used. You would have the majority of a bag of spinach left over that could be uses in sandwiches or salads.

Until next time......

Aims

Hello hello, this is my new recipe focused food blog for paupers- Beggar's Banquet. I am a recent graduate who is living in College Station Texas, and with an extremely limited budget. I've been interested in food since starting University almost four years ago, where I finally had to start cooking for myself . I have since taken a cooking course from the excellent Keith Burke (his blog is here) as well as having trained at The Rivington based in Shoreditch, London.

The point of this blog is to bring home cooked food into the kitchens and dining tables of those who typically can't really spend much on food; students, recent liberal arts graduates and all the other peasants who like myself earn under $1000 a month. The recipes and techniques posted here will be easy for a beginner to grasp. I even have a test- if my girlfriend can make it (she is beyond useless at cooking) then anyone can.

The recipes posted here will also try to be as healthy and as ethically sound as possible, without sacrificing deliciousness. As I am a hungry-man on a 3000 calorie a day diet, portion sizes will be average to large, so prepare to go un-fucking-hungry.

So get out those knives, chopping boards and pans and prepare to eat cheaply and awesomely.