Fightin' Texas Chili: The Definitive Chili Con Carne Recipe

Howdy y'all. The following is a recipe for a Texan chili that I've been trying to perfect over the course of three long years. I finally discovered that the key to a great chili is.... a fuck load of beer. You will want to leave it to simmer for at least two hours (longer is better!), so I'd save this one for the weekend if you're working the hellish 9-5 grind and freeze the left-overs for the week ahead.

Go Get:

1 Large onion or 2 small ones.

2 Cloves of Garlic

1 Can of Kidney beans

1 Can of chopped/ diced tomato

1 Stock cube

500g/17oz Ground/minced beef or pork.

Chili Powder

Chili flakes or fresh chili peppers.

Cumin

Cinnamon powder

1 Can of Beer. I used Lonestar, 'cause.

Sour Cream

Worcestershire Sauce

The Action:

1. Chop up the onion and garlic into small cubes (click here to learn how to chop things) Fry the onions in a little oil and butter on a high heat. I use bran oil or rapeseed oil, as it burns at a higher temperature than olive oil.

2. Once the onions have softened, throw in the garlic and fry for a minute or two, stirring regularly. Add a splash of Worcestershire sauce.

3. Clear the vegetables to the side of the pan and brown the meat in the center, breaking up the chunks with a spatula.

4. Add 2 tbsp of Chili powder and 1 tbsp of cumin and fry until the spices release their aroma. Add half a tsp of dried chili power or cayenne pepper if you prefer it spicy, or you're spiking a certain someone's food *cough* Julian Wharton *cough*.

5. Pour in the can of beer and wait till the mixture boils. I used Lonestar, which is a light, largely flavourless lager for Texan pride's sake. You can experiment with different types. A heavy dark beer such as Shiner Bohemian Black or a Bombardier would taste awesome.

Pictured: Deliciousness

6. Put in your can of chopped tomatoes, the stock cube a dash of cinnamon and a thumbnail sized chunk of chocolate or sugar. Set the hob to a low temperature, cover and celebrate Texas style by molotov cocktailing a planned parenthood center!

7. Check every so often that your chili isn't drying out (add water if it is), and add your kidney beans 20 minutes before turning the stove off. The chili should have reached a thick, soupy consistency. Add some cornstarch if it's too runny. Leave to cool for 10 minutes to let the flavor soak into the meat.

The finished product.

8. Season well (keep taste testing as it will need more salt than you think) and serve with rice and a dollop of sour cream on top.

TIP- Boil your rice with a tbsp of salt, as unseasoned rice tends to taste extremely bland.

And that about does it. One batch of this stuff will end up producing 4-5 servings, so freeze your leftovers for later. Buying the spices will be expensive at first, but will last months. Thus the total cost per serving is around $1.75, depending on what beer you use.

Stay hungry, friends.